WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A BRIDESMAID

How do you choose who
will stand with you when you say 'I do'?

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A BRIDESMAID

How do you choose who
will stand with you when you say 'I do'?

You’ve said “yes”, popped the champagne and started planning for the big day. It’s time to ask those nearest and dearest if they’ll stand by your side, but how do you make sure you ask the right people? What should you really be looking for in a bridesmaid?

There’s a big balancing act when it comes to selecting the right people to be part of your special day. We all have that one friend who expects to be chosen, or someone who you just feel kind of obligated to. If you’ve got siblings this opens a whole new can of worms. Should you include them? If you include one, do you simply have to include the others? How upset will Mum be if you don’t?…it just goes on and on.

First and foremost we should start with the most important thing. This is your day. And that means that no matter how much Aunt Ethel thinks her absolutely incredible daughter cousin Jane simply must be included, this doesn't matter. Your bridal party should be made up of people that you want. So make sure that before you begin to think about who you’d like to stand beside you, you promise yourself you won’t make decisions for anyone else but you and your partner. This is probably also a good time to mention that your partner and your bridal party should get along. Your husband to be doesn’t need someone who he doesn’t like (if justified) standing up there on his big day, the same as you don’t need a friend who is unsupportive of your relationship being a ‘debbie downer’ on your Wedding Day. But here’s another few qualities you might look for in a bridesmaid (and by might we mean you probably, or most definitely, should).

1. COOL, CALM & COLLECTED UNDER PRESSURE

Let’s face it, no matter how much we don’t want to be that bridezilla, we’re all going to have a moment or two where we get a little (or a lot) stressed. Wedding’s are big events and there’s lots of planning involved at every turn. It’s only natural that you’ll get stressed out and emotional about things that may go wrong, so you want those around you to be cool, calm and collected under-pressure. They should help calm you down, not fuel the fire.

2. RECOGNISES THIS IS YOUR BIG DAY

This is a big one. Not only does it set the under-tone for how supportive they are about how important this is to you, you also really want to avoid having that one bridesmaid that thinks this is all just a party. You know, the ones really into the hair and make-up, photo part but are nowhere to be seen whenever anything actually needs to be done. They’re the ones off with the fairies socialising when you need people to help you carry your dress. If this sounds like it would frustrate you, avoid this at all costs. You don’t need someone bringing down your mood because they’re more concerned about themselves than helping you have the best day of your life.

3. USEFUL & HELPFUL

Expecting to be making elaborate Wedding plans and getting your bridesmaids to help and be involved with them? Expecting to have them involved in say hand-making invitations? Then probably not best to choose someone who hates arts & crafts. Wanting help at every turn? Better not to choose people who are terrible at offering assistance then. Think about what you’re wanting your bridesmaids to do and who would be useful and helpful in these areas. You want to have people around you who are willing and ready to offer their assistance, not clueless or worse, irritated when you ask.

4. TIME

This follows on pretty closely from the above and number 3&4 are really quite relevant to your expectations. If you’re not wanting your bridesmaids to be involved in much then it may not matter how much time they have, but if you want help and reliability it’s best to think about who actually has time to be in your Wedding party. As much as you love Sally, if she's juggling two jobs, study and her partner she just might not have the free time devote to your big day. And honestly, if she's that busy, she might be glad you didn’t ask her anyway!

5. A PLANNER

When it comes down to the nitty gritty, bridesmaids usually take charge of organising days such as your hen’s. If you don’t want to end up doing the planning yourself, it’s wise to choose people who have the skills necessary to plan an event. You also definitely want those who know you and what you like well. Nothing worse than turning up to an event planned for you that you absolutely despise, but they think is wonderful. This is mighty awkward (and not much fun).

6. YOU CAN SEE THEM AS PART OF YOUR LIFE IN THE FUTURE

As much as it’s easy to reflect on who is most important in your life right now, it’s a good idea to consider who’s actually going to stay in it. This is so often why people opt for family. Your Wedding is a momentous occasion in your life, so you don’t want to look back on it and wonder why you chose all these people you don’t see anymore. It might be worth considering more who has stayed in your life consistently rather than just who seems most important right now.